Rinse and Repeat
I hope someone out there has been applying these tips on healthy boundaries, work/life
balance, nervous system regulation and 4 count breathing techniques...because I fucking
haven’t been.
Oh no, I’ve been doing double middle fingers to the screen mid email response, rehashing
responses I wish I’d made out loud to myself at stoplights and sucking in oxygen through
clenched teeth in my sleep.
Fairly certain my kids were considering calling me “What?!” instead of mom and that my friends
were hella sick of my near constant stream of “wait till you hear what this dummy did” texts. I
was sick of myself but doing the same damn things anyway. Caught in a cycle of drama that
was serving me somehow.
It all came to a head one late night. I was so distracted I made a mistake and deleted a bunch of
work I’d spent years making. In my haste to be productive, to be first, to be right, I’d shat on my
own self. My heart sank into my feet, I felt a wash of “this is your sign” come over every inch of
me.
I put an email responder on right then for the next day “Taking a mental health day. I need a
break” I knew the person that needed to reflect, take stock and renew was me. I knew the way
that worked for me was a break from technology, to sit with myself, be in nature, feel nurtured
and heal those parts of myself that had been choosing the energy of chaos.
It fucking worked. Mental note to self: check in more often, take one of these each week,
thankful for the reminder, it’s normal to talk to yourself while texting:)
balance, nervous system regulation and 4 count breathing techniques...because I fucking
haven’t been.
Oh no, I’ve been doing double middle fingers to the screen mid email response, rehashing
responses I wish I’d made out loud to myself at stoplights and sucking in oxygen through
clenched teeth in my sleep.
Fairly certain my kids were considering calling me “What?!” instead of mom and that my friends
were hella sick of my near constant stream of “wait till you hear what this dummy did” texts. I
was sick of myself but doing the same damn things anyway. Caught in a cycle of drama that
was serving me somehow.
It all came to a head one late night. I was so distracted I made a mistake and deleted a bunch of
work I’d spent years making. In my haste to be productive, to be first, to be right, I’d shat on my
own self. My heart sank into my feet, I felt a wash of “this is your sign” come over every inch of
me.
I put an email responder on right then for the next day “Taking a mental health day. I need a
break” I knew the person that needed to reflect, take stock and renew was me. I knew the way
that worked for me was a break from technology, to sit with myself, be in nature, feel nurtured
and heal those parts of myself that had been choosing the energy of chaos.
It fucking worked. Mental note to self: check in more often, take one of these each week,
thankful for the reminder, it’s normal to talk to yourself while texting:)
