My Journey

I stopped knowing and listening to myself.

Having needs didn’t feel safe, expressing them less so, turning away from this part of me was my mind's way of making sense of the intel it had gathered; be agreeable, safety is approval and having needs is too much.

The journey back to myself felt like a f@*king nightmare.

I just didn’t have the time for, at first. I guess that’s why they call it transformation and not Saturday. The process of remembering, trusting and listening to my own voice took time and practice. It felt exhausting and endless at times. I often felt alone as I moved from conceptualizing this new awareness to implementing new ways of being, new behaviors and new ways of speaking to myself.

Over time layers of self trust, respect, acceptance and accountability grew.

I was able to zoom out, to get curious about my thoughts, lovinging question their validity and communicate in a way that matched this inner knowing. This remembering.

It was imperative not to repeat old patterns.

Raising daughters made everything twice as real for me. I wanted them to have tools they could use to create inner safety, trust their voice and communicate their needs. I know that life will bring challenges. I know they are prepared. I know they feel loved. I know they feel important. I feel so grateful that the journey I didn’t have time for turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.