I’m unhappy/ frustrated/ confused/ concerned about...

I’m unhappy/ frustrated/ confused/ concerned about...

Expressing emotions may be difficult for some. There are layers of emotions, fear might be expressed as anger. Irritability may be anxiety given a voice. It may be difficult to stay in a neutral space when someone expresses their emotions about a situation, at work or home or otherwise.

Let them know you hear their concern, Depersonalize the discussion, focus on a solution with mutual purpose and create an action step 

Example

Acknowledge: 

“Thank you for letting me know your concerns about the yard. I’m glad you brought this up as we head into summer. Let’s talk about what you’d like to see so we can set up a plan.”

Assess: 

“I appreciate your feedback, it’s helpful to know these details so we can work together. What I hear you saying is that you want the rose garden to be maintained along with the specialty bushes by the road, is that right?”

Action:

“Ok, perfect, I know you spent many years creating that garden and that it’s important to you. When properties have gardens that need special care we advise owners to set up service with a landscape professional. I’m happy to set up this service with a trusted vendor if you prefer.” 

Change can be challenging, unknowns may bring up current AND old feelings, ones that have been ignored. Stress, a familiar trigger  may make them feel alive again. 

People aren’t always skilled at expressing challenging emotions, and the receiver may take things personally based on their own experiences. 

All of this can lead to a whole lot of drama, anxiety and misunderstanding. If you feel these coming on, practice the above and see how it goes, and feels!