Here, let ME help you with that!
Here, let ME help you with that!
During a recent general update I overheard complaints about:
- Having to do “everything”
- Feeling stressed from performing unreasonable client asks
- Frustrated by expectations from other Realtors
My non-verbal response: “I’m sorry you’re putting yourself through this right now” We are getting something out of every choice we make.
Ex: You say yes to a Realtors 11pm Sunday text request for a comp. You are irritated and tired. You want to have a conversation with them about being considerate and expectations.. Instead you say yes, again. You want to appear helpful, useful, saving the day, being indispensable. And it’s eating you alive.
You create the “perfect comp” w/ details in record time, sent! It feels powerful to be helpful. You wait for the thank you text…crickets. “Oh heck no she didn’t.” Someone is gonna hear you talk about this. Hmm, perhaps it wasn't as altruistic as it seemed. There are gifts in self discovery!
Feeling resentful and frustrated? Ask yourself:
- Why did you offer to help?
- What did you really want to do/say?
- What kept you from doing so?
- What are you afraid would happen if you did what you actually wanted?
- Why does this scare you so much?
You may have an unspoken awareness but not acceptance about the insights you gain from those questions.. Maybe you held yourself in judgment. That’s pretty normal. Good news is, what you accept, you can shift. Allowing space to choose a new action, one that’s aligned with your new insights…being yourself, knowing yourself and communicating your needs clearly.
Helping others from this place is truly giving
It’ll take some adjusting for those that have gotten used to you being handy with the help. They’ll have their own intentions, motivations and insights to discover. This is not your work.
But this is:
Stay curious about your why.
When you’re about to complain, ask what could you have done differently?
Say what you need clearly, without apologies or explanation.
Be vulnerable about the work you’re doing when you feel sharing is helpful.
Practicing these tools in relationships empowers you, may increase happiness and contentment too!
