Expectations are premeditated resentments
Expectations are premeditated resentments
We all have expectations. It's awareness that makes the difference between;
“I can’t believe she did that, I’m so mad!”
AND
“I’m disappointed that didn’t work out, but I never told her how I felt or what I needed.”
Curiosity is key! Take a few moments to answer these from a heart centered, neutral space:
- Why do you “need” a situation to work out a certain way? Fear is underneath anger
- What is really bothering you? Is it that another’s actions didn’t line up with your needs?
- Is how you’re viewing the situation 100% true? Are you seeing it through a clear lens without attachment to a certain outcome?
- What could you have done differently? Been upfront about your feelings, needs, expectations, experiences and fears?
In a personal relationship it may look like transparency, vulnerability, communication and boundaries
In professional life it may look like preparation, communication, upfront expectation discussion and boundary setting.
Rewarding relationships of all types start with you knowing, understanding and checking in on yourself.
If you start to hear these coming out of your mouth OR into your head:
“Well he should have known…”
“I never would have done that…”
“I assumed they would have understood that was the case”
STOP. Acknowledge the part your expectations are playing. Take a few moments with yourself.
We all have things going on that others know nothing about. Things that affect the way we view the world. Things that affect the way we interpret others actions. These feelings aren’t always facts. Other people don’t know our “rules”
When in doubt ask. When you have the chance, offer Grace (P.S. you always have the chance)
