You have, in fact, got this.
I plan ahead. Feeling like I have some control over my experience empowers me…honestly it’s my safety net so I can “keep it all together.” It’s my protection so I don’t have a sensory overload at the coffee shop, my biggest fears realized: I’m weird as fuck and unlovable.
All this energy running scans and plans in the background, packing bags and setting up plans constantly is exhausting and unnecessary. I’ve also found that a judgmental awareness of my mind’s search for safety isn’t helpful.
Here’s some things to do instead:
- Awareness is super, it’s necessary. Notice the voice it uses, does it sound kind, is it curious? OR is it critical and impatient? Which one feels better in your body, which feels helpful in regulating your nervous system?
- Acknowledge the part of yourself that developed these coping mechanisms. At some point they saved your life or you believed they would. Give that part of yourself a huge “You’re a badass MF, brain. Thank you for doing your best to keep me safe” Welcoming what you may have been judging, resisting, allows the tension to ease.
- Ask yourself what do I need most in this moment: a deep breath, leaning against a wall, looking around and focusing on small details of the space or clenching and releasing my muscles to reclaim myself spatially? Am I responding to the current moment? Grounding yourself using one of the above techniques can help bring you back to the present moment, allowing you to choose how you respond.
You’re not alone. Next time you find yourself wanting to check out don’t forget that…
You have, in fact, got this.
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