The past few months I’ve chosen to to work from a local coffee shop. I’ve gotten a front row seat for many meet ups, meetings and discussions afterwards. This allowed me to witness the painful assumptions and communication pitfalls that followed.
These assumptions aren’t limited to those having conversations in coffee shops. As humans we may find ourselves living from these assumptions, piecing together the “what just happened here?” in a multitude of relationships.
These assumptions might sound like:
- I feel bad because I don’t have the answer ( Assumption: I need to make sure they’re happy. I’m responsible for their happiness, it’s my job. I AM my job/marriage/role)
- I’ve been trying to tell them (Assumption: Being clear is scary, I need to avoid being rejected to stay safe. If I “manage” the conversation I can keep things as I need them to be, conflict is always bad.)
- I’ll fix it myself by doing/buying … (Assumption: Having boundaries is selfish, it feels safer to overextend but I’m resentful and passive aggressive when I try to express my feelings about it)
Perhaps you recognized making one of the above assumptions in some part of your life. If you did, congratulations! You’re officially human. The fact that you recognized it means you can acknowledge, accept and shift it.
Being in a state of assumption all the time, is a lot of time. There is opportunity in every new awareness. You get to choose what you do with that new awareness, one moment at a time. Imagine the time you’ll save, and how much more enjoyable all that coffee will be:)
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